Enter and exit with purpose!
Be it escalators, elevators, subway cars, or airport people movers, please, we beg of you: enter and exit with gusto. If entering, move immediately to the side to allow others to do the same. If exiting, decisively pick a direction OR step to the side while you pick your nose and stare into the abyss. Just please, please, please get out of the way of everyone else who knows how to function in society. If you stop in front of us because you don’t know which way you should go, then we’ll show you. Spoiler Alert: it will be down onto the floor via two handed shove (in our passive aggressive daydreams, at least).
the romantic & the wino