For the most part, I’ve done a terrific job at keeping what happened in Vegas a mystery. That’s standard protocol, right? Here’s the truth: I haven’t really written about Vegas because, honestly, not that much happened. One would think a wino experiencing Vegas for the first time would come home with copious stories of overindulgence and irresponsible decisions. But let’s remember: this was a business trip, which meant my normal travel habits were put to the test. Instead of regaling you with stories of what happened (or lack thereof), I decided I’d share with you the two very important lessons…

Ahhh the Wynn Las Vegas. Or what I now like to call my home away from my itsy bitsy teeny weeny tiny shoebox of an apartment that New York City realtors try to persuade naive young twenty-somethings that it is indeed a home. You know the scene in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York when Kevin is jumping on the bed in the Plaza and tearing through the mini fridge? Welcome to my life at the Wynn. Though I have much more to fill you in on regarding my big self-realization that occurred during my time in Vegas (stay…