Ok, here’s a secret. I speak another language. Oui, oui, I speak French. Poorly, and with an accent that sounds British depending on how many glasses of wine I have. But the truth is, I’ve been parlez-ing the francais for a pretty decent amount of years.
I struggled in high school (conjugating verbs is like, really hard), and I took French an embarrassing amount of semesters in college. But finally, when I moved abroad during my junior year, I reached a certain level of fluency. This was mostly due to my living with Madame, my 75-year old landlord who didn’t utter a lick of English. Every Wednesday, Madame would cook me an authentic French meal, and we would sit at the dinner table, trying desperately to converse in my broken French. I didn’t realize how much my French skills had grown until my mom visited four months later and sat through a dinner with us, Madame and I comfortably talking and laughing in a language my mom only half-understood.
I bet you think I’m a little bit cooler now, don’t you? That’s because what you’ve read is true: bilingual people are sexy. I can tell you, speaking another language has made me way more efficient while traveling. And by “more efficient while traveling,” I mean “more efficient while flirting.”
“Une bière à la pression, s’il vous plait!”
I used this little number a lot. When I went to France, I was more of a beer drinker than a wino (…hard to believe, right?), so I made it my mission to learn how to order a draft beer the right way. This resulted in a small amount of respect from the French bartenders. Many of whom were très beau.
Also, think about this. Perhaps the man of my dreams is an Italian businessman (just saying) and he speaks minimal English but decent French? There’s my in. Amiright?!
Fear not! You don’t have to be in a foreign land to impress! Knowing how to speak French has not been lost on the non-French speaker. AKA: the English-speaking male who is easily impressed by a quick string of French words because he has no idea that what I’m saying is actually complete jibberish. This goes for co-workers, friends, people sitting next to you at the bar, etc etc.
And let us not forget the most important side of this argument, which focuses not on my ability to speak French, but rather a BOY’s ability to speak French. If you can speak another language, or maybe even fake it a little (hey, we’re all guilty), you’ve got my vote. Boys everywhere, consider this a PSA: being bilingual makes you far more attractive to any female. You’re welcome.
“beaucoup du vin, s’il te plait!”
Now, in my old age, my “French proficiency” lives only as a line on my resume, or occasionally when the romantic and I have a few too many drinks and start interchanging English with French phrases (see above for another oldie but goodie… I’ll let you guess what it means). I stopped speaking French on a regular basis a long time ago. I’ve forgotten how to ask certain questions, and how to change verbs from present tense to past tense. But sometimes, when I’m trying to impress and I feel like I really need to pull out the big guns, je parle francais. Juste un peu.
bisou! (that’s french for “kisses.” le duh)